BEING
A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR A GENTLEMAN’S CONDUCT IN ALL
HIS RELATIONS TOWARDS SOCIETY.
CONTAINING
RULES FOR THE ETIQUETTE TO BE OBSERVED IN THE STREET, AT
TABLE, IN THE BALL ROOM, EVENING PARTY, AND MORNING
CALL; WITH FULL DIRECTIONS FOR POLITE CORRESPONDENCE,
DRESS, CONVERSATION, MANLY EXERCISES,
AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
FROM THE BEST FRENCH, ENGLISH, AND AMERICAN AUTHORITIES.
BY
CECIL B. HARTLEY.
BOSTON:
G. W. COTTRELL, PUBLISHER,
36 Cornhill.
Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1860, by
G. G. EVANS,
in the Clerk’s Office of the District Court for the Eastern District ofPennsylvania.
Man was not intended to live like a bear or a hermit, apartfrom others of his own nature, and, philosophy and reason willeach agree with me, that man was born for sociability and findshis true delight in society. Society is a word capable of manymeanings, and used here in each and all of them. Society,par excellence; the world at large; the little clique to which heis bound by early ties; the companionship of friends or relatives;even society tete a tete with one dear sympathizing soul, arepleasant states for a man to be in.
Taking the word in its most extended view, it is the world;but in the light we wish to impress in our book it is the smallerworld of the changing, pleasant intercourse of each city or townin which our reader may chance to abide.
This society, composed, as it is, of many varying naturesand elements, where each individual must submit to merge hisown identity into the universal whole, which makes the wordand state, is divided and subdivided into various cliques, andhas a pastime for every disposition, grave or gay; and with eachdivision rises up a new set of forms and ceremonies to be observed{4}if you wish to glide down the current of polite life,smoothly and pleasantly.
The young man who makes his first entrance into the worldof society, should know how to choose his friends, and nexthow to conduct himself towards them. Experience is, ofcourse, the best guide, but at first starting this must come secondhand, from an older friend, or from books.
A judicious friend is the best guide; but how is the youngman to know whom to choose? When at home this friend iseasily selected; but in this country, where each bird leaves theparent nest as soon as his wings will bear him safely up, thereare but few who stay amongst the friends at home.
Next then comes the instruction from books.
True a book will not fully supply the place either of experienceor friendly advice, still it may be made useful, and, carefullywritten from the experience of heads grown gray insociety, with only well authenticated rules, it will be a guidenot to be despised by the young aspirant for favor in polite andrefined circles.
You go into society from mixed motives; partly for pleasure,recreation after the fatigues of your daily duties, and partlythat you may become known. In a republican country whereone man’s opportunities for rising are as good as those of another,ambition will lead every rising man into society.
You may set it down as a rule, that as you treat the wor