Self Portrait
By BERNARD WOLFE
Illustrated by MARTIN SCHNEIDER
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Science Fiction November 1951.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
In the credo of this inspiringly selfless
cyberneticist, nothing was too good for his colleagues
in science. Much too good for them!
October 5, 1959
Well, here I am at Princeton. IFACS is quite a place, quite a place,but the atmosphere's darned informal. My colleagues seem to be mostlyyoungish fellows dressed in sloppy dungarees, sweatshirts (the kindEinstein made so famous) and moccasins, and when they're not putteringin the labs they're likely to be lolling on the grass, lounging infront of the fire in commons, or slouching around in conference roomschalking up equations on a blackboard. No way of telling, of course,but a lot of these collegiate-looking chaps must be in the MS end,whatever that is. You'd think fellows in something secret like thatwould dress and behave with a little more dignity.
Guess I was a little previous in packing my soup-and-fish. Soon as Iwas shown to my room in the bachelor dorms, I dug it out and hung itway back in the closet, out of sight. When in Rome, etc. Later that dayI discovered they carry dungarees in the Co-op; luckily, they had thepre-faded kind.
October 6, 1959
Met the boss this morning—hardly out of his thirties, crew-cut,wearing a flannel hunting shirt and dirty saddleshoes. I was glad I'dthought to change into my dungarees before the interview.
"Parks," he said, "you can count yourself a very fortunate young man.You've come to the most important address in America, not excluding thePentagon. In the world, probably. To get you oriented, suppose I sketchin some of the background of the place."
That would be most helpful, I said. I wondered, though, if he was asnaive as he sounded. Did he think I'd been working in cybernetics labsfor going on six years without hearing enough rumors about IFACS tomake me dizzy? Especially about the MS end of IFACS?
"Maybe you know," he went on, "that in the days of Oppenheimer andEinstein, this place was called the Institute for Advanced Studies.It was run pretty loosely then—in addition to the mathematicians andphysicists, they had all sorts of queer ducks hanging around—poets,egyptologists, numismatists, medievalists, herbalists, God alone knowswhat all. By 1955, however, so many cybernetics labs had sprung uparound the country that we needed some central coordinating agency,so Washington arranged for us to take over here. Naturally, as soonas we arrived, we eased out the poets and egyptologists, brought inour own people, and changed the name to the Institute for AdvancedCybernetics Studies. We've got some pretty keen projects going now,pret-ty keen."
I said I'd bet, and did he have any idea which project I would fit into?
"Sure thing," he said. "You're going to take charge of a very importantlab. The Pro lab." I guess he saw my puzzled look. "Pro—that's shortfor prosthetics, artificial limbs. You know, it's really a scandal.With our present level of technology, we should have artificial limbswhich in many ways are even be