... OR YOUR MONEY BACK
BY DAVID GORDON
Illustrated by Summers
[Transcriber note: This etext was produced from Astounding Science Fiction, September 1959. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
There are lots of things thatare considered perfectly acceptable ... provided they don'twork. And of course everyoneknows they really don't, whichis why they're acceptable....
There are times when Idon't know my ownstrength. Or, at least,the strength of my advice.And the case ofJason Howley was certainly an instanceof one of those times.
When he came to my office withhis gadget, I heard him out, tryingto appear both interested and co-operative—whichis good business.But I am forced to admit thatneither Howley nor his gadget werevery impressive. He was a lean,slope-shouldered individual, five-feet-eightor nine—which was shorterthan he looked—with straightbrown hair combed straight backand blue eyes which were shieldedwith steel-rimmed glasses. The thick,double-concave lenses indicated a degreeof myopia that must have borderedon total blindness withoutglasses, and acute tunnel vision, evenwith them.
He had a crisp, incisive mannerthat indicated he was either a manwho knew what he was doing or aman who was trying to impress mewith a ready-made story. I listenedto him and looked at his gadget withoutgiving any more indication thannecessary of what I really thought.
When he was through, I said:"You understand, Mr. Howley thatI'm not a patent lawyer; I specializein criminal law. Now, I can recommend—"
But he cut me off. "I understandthat, counselor," he said sharply."Believe me, I have no illusion whateverthat this thing is patentable underthe present patent system. Evenif it were, this gadget is designed todo something that may or may notbe illegal, which would make ithazardous to attempt to patent it, Ishould think. You don't patent newdevices for blowing safes or newdrugs for doping horses, do you?"
"Probably not," I said dryly, "although,as I say, I'm not qualifiedto give an opinion on patent law.You say that gadget is designed tocause minute, but significant, changesin the velocities of small, movingobjects. Just how does that make itillegal?"
He frowned a little. "Well, possiblyit wouldn't, except here inNevada. Specifically, it is designedto influence roulette and dicegames."
I looked at the gadget with alittle more interest this time. Therewas nothing new in the idea of inventinga gadget to cheat the red-and-blackwheels, of course; the localcops turn up a dozen a day here inthe city. Most of them either don'twork at all or else they're too obvious,so the users get nabbed beforethey have a chance to use them.
The only ones that really workhave to be installed in the tablesthemselves, which means they'reused to milk the suckers, not rob themanagement. And anyone in theState of Nevada who buys a licenseto operate and then uses crookedwheels is (a) stupid, and (b) out ofbusiness within a week. Howley wasright. Only in a place where gamblingis legalized is it illegal—andunprofitable—to rig a game.
The gadget itself didn't look toocomplicated from the outside. It wasa black plastic box about an inchand a half square and maybe threeand a half long. On one end was alensed opening, half an inch indiameter, and on two sides therewere flat, silver-colored plates. Onthe top of it, there was a dial whichwas, say, an inch in diameter, and itwas marked off ju