Transcriber's Note:
Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully aspossible, including inconsistencies in spelling and hyphenation.
Some changes of spelling and punctuation have been made. They arelisted at the end of the text.
A COMEDY IN ONE ACT
BY
COLIN CAMPBELL CLEMENTS
Copyright, 1922, by Samuel French
Amateurs may perform this play without payment
of royalty. All other rights reserved.
New York
SAMUEL FRENCH
(Incorporated 1898)
Publisher
London
Samuel French, Ltd.
26 Southampton Street
Strand
Mrs. Warren
Betty
Mrs. Lawty
Mrs. Romney
Mrs. Pickering
Mrs. Lawer
Clara
The play takes place in Mrs. Warren's littleliving room during the early Victorian period.At the left is a door leading to another part ofthe house. A door at the back opens into theentrance hall. As the curtain rises, Mrs. Warren,seated in a large chair, is talking to hermaid, Clara.
Mrs. Warren. Gossip is malicious, my dear girl,positively malicious. Doesn't the Bible say—(Theknocker sounds.) There, isn't that the door? (Clarastarts to go.) Oh, Clara, before you open the door,be sure and dust off the table in the hall and——
(Clara goes out. Mrs. Warren arranges her dressand the little lace cap on her head.)
Clara. (From the door) It's Mrs. Lawty,ma'am.
Mrs. Warren. Oh, the dear soul! Have hercome right in—right in, Clara.
(Clara goes out. Mrs. Lawty enters.)
Mrs. Lawty. Good afternoon—good afternoon,Mrs. Warren.
Mrs. Warren. Good afternoon, my dear. Do sitdown, Mrs. Lawty—do sit down.
Mrs. Lawty. Oh, thank you. I have just droppedin for a moment. I am on my way to the meetingof the "Helping Hand Society," and as I had to passthis way I just came in to see how you were. I hopeI am not interrupting any work you may be doing,my dear.
Mrs. Warren. Oh, dear, no. I was just givingmy maid a little lecture ... on gossip.
Mrs. Lawty. Gossip?
Mrs. Warren. It is so malicious.
Mrs. Lawty. Positively unladylike! One couldalmost compare a lady who gossips to a ... to apirate.
Mrs. Warren. A what, Mrs. Lawty?
Mrs. Lawty. A pirate. They are sort of wildthieves, you know, and steal things from perfectlyinnocent people, Mrs. Warren. The South SeaIslands are full of them ... pirates, I mean. Why,I read in our missionary paper, j