PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 109.
July 20, 1895.
Your laugh would chase away the blues,
Your smile is always sunny,
One must be gay—who could refuse?
Your "mission" is just to amuse;
Discarding all blue-stocking views,
You fancy what is funny.
You have no fads on Man's Descent
From something quite atomic,
On Diet, Disestablishment,
On Dress, Diminishing of Rent,
Divorce or Dockyard Discontent—
You seek for something comic.
You wear no hygienic shoe,
Your dress is never frightful,
Your sense of humour makes you too
Alive to what you should not do,
You laugh at folks, not they at you,
You write what's quite delightful.
So laugh, and always make us gay;
Stern women are alarming,
The boldest men, I need not say,
Are simply scared by such as they,
You do not bore us, anyway.
Your conversation's charming.
SPORTING EVENT—A RECORD.
She Won the Sweep!
Unmetrical Adaptation of Robbie Burns' celebrated Line to the "NewWoman," whether in male attire on or off Bicycle, in her Club, drivingher trap, &c., &c.—"A woman's a woman for a' that."
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
Of Mr. Athol Mayhew's History of Punch the Baron canat present say nothing, no copy of this work having as yet beenbrought to Our Booking Office, and without a ticket-of-leave, orticket-for-leaves, granted by Mr. Punch himself, per the Baron deB.-W., the book of Mahu ("Modo he is called andMahu," as Shirley Brooks used to quote from KingLear) will not have received the "imprimatur." Already it appears,as we read in a letter from Mr. Henry Spielmann (who, if anyman living knows anything about Mr. Punch's history, is the PunchianBiographer and Historian par excellence and "by appointment") to theDaily Chronicle, Friday, July 12, that in Mr. Mayhew's bookthere are numerous errors on important matters. "Mayhew-manum esterrare." But "Herr Von Spielmann will put him right in h