[Transcriber’s Note: All apparent spelling errors, possible typos, andone (missing?) period have been checked against the images used fortranscription, and left as found. This transcription was made from a modernedition, and it is not clear if these oddities were intended or introduced.Please consult an authoritative edition before quoting from thistranscription.]
| A LONG GAY BOOK | 1909-1912 |
| MANY MANY WOMEN | 1910 |
| G.M.P. | 1911-1912 |
When they are very little just only a baby you can never tell whichone is to be a lady.
There are some when they feel it inside them that it has been with themthat there was once so very little of them, that they were a baby,helpless and no conscious feeling in them, that they knew nothing thenwhen they were kissed and dandled and fixed by others who knew them whenthey could know nothing inside them or around them, some get from allthis that once surely happened to them to that which was then every bitthat was then them, there are some when they feel it later inside themthat they were such once and that was all that there was then of them,there are some who have from such a knowing an uncertain curious kind offeeling in them that their having been so little once and knowingnothing makes it all a broken world for them that they have inside them,kills for them the everlasting feeling; and they spend their life inmany ways, and always they are trying to make for themselves a neweverlasting feeling.
One way perhaps of winning is to make a little one to come through them,little like the baby that once was all them and lost them theireverlasting feeling. Some can win from just the feeling, the little oneneed not come, to give it to them.
And so always there is beginning and to some then a losing of theeverlasting feeling. Then they make a baby to make for themselves a newbeginning and so win for themselves a new everlasting feeling.
It is never very much to be a baby, to be such a very little thing andknowing nothing. It certainly is a very little thing and almost nothingto be a baby and without a conscious feeling. It is nothing, to be,without anything to know inside them or around them, just a baby andthat was all there was once of them and so it is a broken world aroundthem when they think of this beginning and then they lose theireverlasting feeling.
Then they make a baby or they have the feeling and so they win what oncea baby lost them.
It is not very much to be a baby. It certainly is nothing just to beone, to be without a conscious feeling. It is something to have a babycome into the world by way of them but it certainly is not very much tohave been th