Produced by David Widger
By Anthony Hamilton
Every man who believes that his honour depends upon that of his wife isa fool who torments himself, and drives her to despair; but he who, beingnaturally jealous, has the additional misfortune of loving his wife, andwho expects that she should only live for him; is a perfect madman, whomthe torments of hell have actually taken hold of in this world, and whomnobody pities. All reasoning and observation on these unfortunatecircumstances attending wedlock concur in this, that precaution is vainand useless before the evil, and revenge odious afterwards.
The Spaniards, who tyrannise over their wives, more by custom than fromjealousy, content themselves with preserving the niceness of their honourby duennas, grates, and locks.
The Italians, who are wary in their suspicions, and vindictive in theirresentments, pursue a different line of conduct: some satisfy themselveswith keeping their wives under locks which they think secure: others byingenious precautions exceed whatever the Spaniards can invent forconfining the fair sex but the generality are of opinion, that in eitherunavoidable danger or in manifest transgression, the surest way is toassassinate.
But, ye courteous and indulgent nations, who, far from admitting thesesavage and barbarous customs, give full liberty to your dear ribs, andcommit the care of their virtue to their own discretion, you pass withoutalarms or strife your peaceful days, in all the enjoyments of domesticindolence!
It was certainly some evil genius that induced Lord Chesterfield todistinguish himself from his patient and good-natured countrymen, andridiculously to afford the world an opportunity of examining into theparticulars of an adventure which would perhaps never have been knownwithout the verge of the court, and which would everywhere have beenforgotten in less than a month; but now, as soon as ever he had turnedhis back, in order to march away with his prisoner, and the ornaments shewas supposed to have bestowed upon him, God only knows what a terribleattack there was made upon his rear: Rochester, Middlesex, Sedley,Etheredge, and all the whole band of wits, exposed him in numberlessballads, and diverted the public at his expense.
The Chevalier de Grammont was highly pleased with these lively andhumorous compositions; and wherever this subject was mentioned, neverfailed to produce his supplement upon the occasion: "It is strange," saidhe, "that the country, which is little better than a gallows or a gravefor young people, is allotted in this land only for the unfortunate, andnot for the guilty! poor Lady Chesterfield, for some unguarded looks, isimmediately seized upon by an angry husband, who will oblige her to spendher Christmas at a country-house, a hundred and fifty miles from London;while here there are a thousand ladies who are left at liberty to dowhatever they please, and who indulge in that liberty, and whose conduct,in short, deserves a daily bastinado. I name no person, God forbid Ishould; but Lady Middleton, Lady Denham, the queen's and the duchess'smaids of honour, and a hundred others, bestow their favours to the rightand to the left, and not the least notice is taken of their conduct. Asfor Lady Shrewsbury, she is conspicuous. I would take a wager she mighthave a man killed for her every day, find she would only hold her head