Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer
BY THE SAME AUTHORThe College Widow, In Pastures New, Knocking the Neighbors,Fables in Slang
Illustrated by John T. McCutcheon
GARDEN CITY NEW YORKDOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY1914
Copyright, 1912, 1913, byCOSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE
Copyright, 1914, byDOUBLEDAY, PAGE & CO.
All rights reserved, including that oftranslation into foreign languages,including the Scandinavian.
CONTENTS
The New Fable of the Private Agitator and What He Cooked Up
The New Fable of the Speedy Sprite
The New Fable of the Intermittent Fusser
The New Fable of the Search for Climate
The New Fable of the Father Who Jumped In
The New Fable of the Uplifter and His Dandy Little Opus
The New Fable of the Wandering Boy and the Wayward Parent
The New Fable of What Transpires After the Wind-up
The Dream That Came Out with Much to Boot
The New Fable of the Toilsome Ascent and the Shining Table-Land
The New Fable of the Aerial Performer, the Buzzing Blondine, and the
Daughter of Mr. Jackson
The New Fable of Susan and the Daughter and the Granddaughter, and then
Something Really Grand
The New Fable of the Scoffer Who Fell Hard and the Woman Sitting By
The New Fable of the Lonesome Camp on the Frozen Heights
The New Fable of the Marathon in the Mud and the Laurel Wreath
ILLUSTRATIONS [omitted]
Ambition came, with Sterling Silver Breast-Plate and Flaming Sword, andsat beside a Tad aged 5. The wee Hopeful lived in a Frame House withBox Pillars in front and Hollyhocks leading down toward the Pike.
"Whither shall I guide you?" asked Ambition. "Are you far enough fromthe Shell to have any definite Hankering?"
"I have spent many Hours brooding over the possibilities of theFuture," replied the Larva. "I want to grow up to be a Joey in aCircus. I fairly ache to sit in a Red Wagon just behind the Band anddrive a Trick Mule with little pieces of Looking Glass in the Harness.I want to pull Mugs at all the scared Country Girls peeking out of theWagon Beds. The Town Boys will leave the Elephant and trail behind mycomical Chariot. In my Hour of Triumph the Air will be impregnatedwith Calliope Music and the Smell of Pop-Corn, modified by WildAnimals."
Ambition went out to make the proper Bookings with Destiny. When hecame back the Boy was ten years old.
"We started wrong," whispered Ambition, curling up in the cool grassnear the Day-Dreamer. "The Trick Mule and the Red Cart are all verywell for little Fraidy-Cats and Softies, but a brave Youth of HighSpirit should tread the Deck of his own Ship with a Cutlass under hisRed Sash. Aye, that is Blood gauming up the Scuppers, but is theCaptain chicken-hearted? Up with the Black Flag! Let it be give andtake, with Pieces of Eight for the Victor!"
So it was settled that the Lad was to hurry through the Graded Schoolsand then get at his Buccaneering.
But Ambition came back with a revised Program. "You are now FifteenYears of Age," said the Wonderful Guide with the glittering Suit. "Itis High Time that you planned a Noble Career, following a StraightCourse from which there shall be no Deviation. The Pirate is a mereswaggering Bravo and almost Unscrupulous at times. Why n