PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 150.
April 5, 1916.
CHARIVARIA.
A severe blizzard hit London lastweek, and Mr. Pemberton-Billing hassince been heard to admit, howeverreluctantly, that there are other powersof the air.
After more than five weeks thebubble blown by Sir James Dewar atthe Royal Institution on February 17thhas burst. A still larger bubble, blownby some eminent German scientists aslong ago as August, 1914,is said to be on the point ofdissolution.
At one of the North LondonTribunals a maker ofmeat pies applied for exemptionon the ground thathe had a conscientious objectionto taking life. Hisapplication was refused,the tribunal apparently beingof the opinion that aman who knew all aboutmeat pies could decimatethe German forces withoutstriking a blow.
Colonel Roosevelt sayshe has found a bird thatlives in a cave, eats nuts,barks like a dog and haswhiskers; and the politicalwiseacres in Washingtonare asking who it can be.
An exciting hockey matchwas played on Saturday betweena team of policemenand another composed ofspecial constables. Thepolicemen won—by a fewfeet.
For gallantry at the ovensa German master-baker hasjust been awarded the IronCross. This is probably intendedas a sop to the Armybakers, who are understood to haveregarded it as a slight upon their callingthat hitherto this distinction hasbeen largely reserved for people whohave shown themselves to be efficientbutchers.
At a meeting of barbers held in theCity a few days ago it was unanimouslydecided to raise the price of a shave to3d. The reason, it was explained, wasthe high cost of living, which temptedthe customers to eat far more soap thanformerly.
In the Lambeth Police Court a manwas convicted of stealing three galvanizediron roofs. His explanationthat he had had the good fortune towin them at an auction bridge partywas rejected by the Court.
A Mr. R. H. Pearce, writing toThe Times, says: "I once lived in ahouse where my neighbour (a lady)kept twelve cats." Mr. Pearce isprobably unique in his experience.Our own neighbours only go so faras to arrange for the entertainment oftheir cats in our garden.
FIRST CASUALTY OF THE NON-COMBATANT CORPS.
Red Cross Man. "What is it?"
Stretcher-bearer. "Shock. He was digging and he cut a wormin half."
An Appropriate Locale.
"Bohemian Picture Theatre, Phibsboro'To-day for Three Days Only,Justus Miles Forman's Exciting Story,The Garden of Lies."
Irish Paper.
VARIETIES.
"A word that is always spelled swrong.—W-r-o-n-g."—WellingtonJournal.
We don't believe this is true.
"WOMEN ARE ASKED TOWEAR NO MORE CLOTHESthan are absolutely necessary."
Dundee Courier.
Several cases of shock are reportedamong ladies