The Princess and the Physicist
By EVELYN E. SMITH
Illustrated by KOSSIN
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Science Fiction June 1955.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Elected a god, Zen the Omnipotent longed
for supernatural powers—for he was also
Zen the All-Put-Upon, a galactic sucker!
Zen the Terrible lay quiescent in the secret retreat which housed hiscorporeal being, all the aspects of his personality wallowing in theluxury of a day off. How glad he was that he'd had the forethought tostipulate a weekly holiday for himself when first this godhood hadbeen thrust upon him, hundreds of centuries before. He'd accepted theperquisites of divinity with pleasure then. It was some little timebefore he discovered its drawbacks, and by then it was too late; he hadbecome the established church.
All the aspects of his personality rested ... save one, that is. Andthat one, stretching out an impalpable tendril of curiosity, broughtback to his total consciousness the news that a spaceship from Earthhad arrived when no ship from Earth was due.
So what? the total consciousness asked lazily of itself. Probablythey have a large out-of-season order for hajench. My hajench going toprovide salad bowls for barbarians!
When, twenty years previously, the Earthmen had come back to theircolony on Uxen after a lapse of thousands of years, Zen had beenhopeful that they would take some of the Divine Work off his hands.After all, since it was they who had originally established thecolony, it should be their responsibility. But it seemed that allhumans, not merely the Uxenach, were irresponsible. The Earthmen wereinterested only in trade and tribute. They even refused to believe inthe existence of Zen, an attitude which he found extremely irritatingto his ego.
True, Uxen prospered commercially to a mild extent after their return,for the local ceramics that had been developed in the long intervalfound wide acceptance throughout the Galaxy, particularly the low bowlswhich had hitherto been used only for burning incense before Zen theFormidable.
Now every two-bit planet offered hajench in its gift shops.
Culturally, though, Uxen had degenerated under the new Earthadministration. No more criminals were thrown to the skwitch. Xwooshlost its interest when new laws prohibited the ancient custom ofexecuting the losing side after each game.
There was no tourist trade, for the planet was too far from the restof the Galaxy. The commercial spaceships came only once every threemonths and left the same day. The two destroyers that "guarded" theplanet arrived at rare intervals for fueling or repairs, but the crewnever had anything to do with the Uxenach. Local ordinance forbade themaidens of Uxen to speak to the outlanders, and the outlanders were notinterested in any of the other native products.
But the last commercial spaceship had departed less than three weeksbefore on its regular run, and this was not one of the guard ships.
Zen reluctantly conceded to himself that he would have to investigatethis situation further, if he wanted to retain his reputation foromniscience. Sometimes, in an occasional moment of self-doubt, hewondered if he weren't too much of a perfectionist, but then herejected the thought as self-sacrilege.
Zen dutifully intensified the beam of awareness and returned it to theaudience chamber where the